Selena Gomez reveals everything in her next documentary Selena Gomez: my mind and me premiering November 4 on Apple+. While Gomez is “really proud” to offer such intimate insight into her struggles, she said Vulture that revisiting some of the difficult moments – in particular, a scene in which she was talking about her body – was “shocking and upsetting”.
“The things I watched in 2016, 2017, 2018 – I can’t believe I was that girl. It breaks my heart. I’m grateful to be on the other side, but when I watched, for example, the first part of the film where I talk about my body…” she said.
Getting emotional, she told the interviewer she was “completely overwhelmed by myself” as she thought back to how she treated and thought about her body. “I couldn’t believe what I aspired to be. Which is only really possible if you have a lot of money and are willing to spend it to do this to yourself,” she said. declared. “It really broke my heart. It’s not the feeling I want to give anyone. I hope it’s not. So watching it was a bit shocking and upsetting. “
Gomez reflected on the insecurity she felt at the time, sharing in a video she made in 2021 with vogue that it took time to come to terms with the way her body had evolved as she matured. She even recalled that the 2015 Met Gala was a memorable moment in this process.
“I fluctuate a lot with my weight and I remember that night in particular I didn’t feel good about my body. So what was really amazing was that I got a chance to work on the dress that matched my body,” she said. in the video. “I had such a beautiful time crafting this dress. I think we came together and built something that’s really beautiful and really looks good on me. It was one of the times I was like, I don’t have to be a 19 year old body shape because I’m not.”
She also continued to speak more publicly and positively about her body in the face of the body shaming she suffered throughout her career. In June she said Glamor United Kingdom“It’s hard to feel comfortable when it feels like everyone is watching, judging and commenting on your appearance. Self-confidence is still something I work on daily, but when I stopped d ‘trying to conform to society’s unrealistic standards of beauty, my perspective has completely changed.”
Despite how her relationship with her body continued to change, Gomez said Vulture that seeing yourself younger in a negative headspace was difficult. She’s also worried about the message it might send to viewers.
“That’s not the feeling I want to give anyone. I hope not,” she said. “So watching him was kind of shocking and upsetting.”
With the film’s release just days away, however, Gomez is more confident in her goal of showing people everything she’s been through to get to where she is today. “I think it’s about discovering myself through my 20s; I had to do it in front of people, and I don’t know anything different. I think Selena – and I hate talking about myself in the third person, I’m so sorry – doesn’t reflect where I am now,” she explained. “I don’t want people to think I’ll live forever in this world of sad girls. Because I’m not.”
And while the process has been difficult, she’s already seen some of the impact her story can have on other people.
“I’ve had so many moments with people, real genuine moments, where women in their 40s tell me about their divorce or something they’re going through. I can’t help loving people for what they are, even when it’s frustrating and even maybe when I shouldn’t. I believe in people,” she shared. “In the end, I sacrificed my story – which I don’t mind, it’s just a little weird – hopefully it has a larger purpose and can continue as a conversation for people. people.”
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